My mother-in-law suggested years ago that I write a book on raising kids. My only qualification is because I've had so many. Therefore, I should have a vast vault of knowledge, gained from experience, to pass along. However, the opposite is true. I HAD a lot of advice, once, but through the years, "pages" have been ripped out of my book, one chapter at a time. I am now down to one page. And who wants to buy a one-page book for $25, even if the cover is really fancy?
There are just three points of advice I have left. The first is a two-parter, and I will preface it with a quote from Lord of the Rings. I read the book when I was 12 and for some reason, this quote was lodge firmly in my brain way back then. "For advice is a dangerous gift, even from the wise to the wise, as all courses may run ill."
Advice #1) Be careful who you take advice from.
Have you ever noticed that advice books on raising children are prolific for the 0-5 years and the early teen years? I have yet to see a book on what to do with your college-aged freshman. For those of you who have one, either you are laughing right now, you are clueless, or your kid is perfect. 19 is still a teen. Where are those books, huh? And then, what happens between potty training and driving/dating? I'm not seeing a lot of books written on how to deal with the ten-year old's tantrums. Or how about the nine-year-old's forgetfulness? And my final point is: have you noticed that most of those volumes and thousands of pages are written by people WITHOUT KIDS?! Seriously, those of us who have had a few are learning to keep our mouths shut. Again, the reason why I am down from hundreds of pages to one.
Part two of this point. Again, be careful who you take advice from. Many teenagers are experts on themselves. Just ask them. Actually, you don't need to ask, they just tell you freely that "you don't even know me". So, being the experts they are on themselves, they will also tell you how you should "raise" them. This is a great idea. Get advice straight from the expert. I'm just warning you that you should tread lightly here. Teenagers are not known for their altruistic tendencies and they might have an ulterior motive. For example: "Everyone else gets to stay out all night because their parents TRUST them. If you trusted me, you'd let me stay out, too!"
Advice #2) Learn to Laugh. You will need this skill. It comes in handy when you are looking for the positive among what is sometimes a mess. It helps with your sanity. And, you should practice. Endurance athlete's call this "race day simulation". You have to be prepared to follow the plan no matter what unforeseen circumstances arise. You need to simulate "race day conditions". I recommend buying the most dramatic, heart-felt movie out there. And just when the drama is reaching it's epic point and you are about to burst into heart-felt tears for the character, begin to laugh. Practice until it becomes sincere. The reason why this is "race day" training is because you watch this character grow, and develop. Through dialogue and experiences you share, you begin to care about this character. You are pulled into the plot. Enter the turning point. You SEE what is going to happen. You know what the character SHOULD do. You are an outside observer and can see clearly what is happening when your character isn't even in the scene. You warn, you talk, you bite your nails for this character. You can even get up at yell at the screen, but they just won't here you. If they go ahead with the choice, you know it might bring sadness and heart ache. And if it does, you cry for them. Then you realize it is their choice, their decision and their life but it is your hurt, too. So you cry, but you must separate out this heart-ache and learn to find the silver lining and be happy. So watch that movie, learn to laugh at the critical point, and when you can do it, you are "race ready" for your teenagers. Good Luck!
Advice #3) Always Fall to the Upside of the Hill. This is absolutely, by far, the best advice I can give. A good friend told me this gem when I was learning to mountain bike. We sometimes ride 4 inch wide trails with a literal cliff to one side. Falling to the "upside" of the mountain is a life saver. As I think about how to deal with my sometimes forgetful children, or tantrum-throwing teenagers, I repeat this in my mind. You might find deep significance in it, but I haven't yet. It's at these moments when I think, "Wow, I'm out of advice for myself and I don't know what to do," and so I repeat, "Fall to the Upside of the Hill". Because no matter what happens, this advice will always be the best I have received. It is a non-fail life-saver.
And no one-piece advice about raising children has endured the countless situations I've encountered.
Hence, my one-page blog.
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Sunday, October 20, 2013
Monday, October 14, 2013
Off Season/The Great "Nesting" Period of Life
Off Season for a triathlete and the span of time right before you become a parent are eerily similar. Since I've had seven kids and (now) seven "Off Seasons", the resemblance is uncanny.
At first, you are excited for something new. The same old day-to-day grind has become old. The chance to rest, relax and reconnect with family and friends is all you hope for. Reflecting on the past, discussing the future and resting, and resting and doing some more resting....
But pretty soon the realization hits that you have to do SOMETHING; relaxing is still paramount and so you begin to read and plan. You discuss and research theories of the best way to maximize your potential. Some day you will need all the insight and information you can get from others that have been through it all before. You don't want to make any mistakes. This is going to be a BIG, BETTER time in your life where you will be AWESOME and you know it!
But, the reading and research gives way to restlessness. You begin to want to DO something. ANYTHING. However, the people who know you best suggest you continue to rest. Relax. Take it easy. The next stage in your life will be here soon enough and you will be thankful for this downtime when that finally happens.
Sitting around staring at the same, four walls can make an expectant person anxious. When that happens, you begin to organize and put things away. Maybe a little light cleaning. You know, that stuff you couldn't quite get to before this "downtime". After all, you are still taking it easy, but you are beginning to feel good and it needs to be done. Good isn't Bad, so you begin to move couches, chairs, dressers and beds. You are now carrying large boxes of clutter to the trash that you didn't realize had accumulated while you were busy with your last season. Light dusting moves into frantic scouring of the floors on your knees and you wonder, "How in the world did I neglect these corners all through the last season?"
By now you are really feeling good, but you can't start working on the next phase of your life, so you tell yourself, "It's okay. I'll get it all done now. Who know when I'll get another chance to clean out all these closets?" The next season feels just around the corner and you are "nesting"--- big time!
In your future there will be sleepless, restless nights. You will have fatigue, stress, and minor body aches that come your way and so you tell yourself to press on; make it sparkle, make it shine! You might not get to it for another nine months so it's got to be good to last. When the next season begins, you might be too tired, sick, or just have no time to even feed yourself, let alone read, study, organize and clean. Do it now!
You stop yourself only when sanity once again takes over. This happens just as you realize there is absolutely NO WAY you can clean the gutters out on a three-story house with a very steep roof pitch! It just isn't safe. It just isn't reasonable. And those explanations keep you from climbing out there and finishing that one final task.
So, I sit back and wait. And wait. With high expectations, a little bit of nerves and most of all excitement. I'm ready! Bring It!
At first, you are excited for something new. The same old day-to-day grind has become old. The chance to rest, relax and reconnect with family and friends is all you hope for. Reflecting on the past, discussing the future and resting, and resting and doing some more resting....
But pretty soon the realization hits that you have to do SOMETHING; relaxing is still paramount and so you begin to read and plan. You discuss and research theories of the best way to maximize your potential. Some day you will need all the insight and information you can get from others that have been through it all before. You don't want to make any mistakes. This is going to be a BIG, BETTER time in your life where you will be AWESOME and you know it!
But, the reading and research gives way to restlessness. You begin to want to DO something. ANYTHING. However, the people who know you best suggest you continue to rest. Relax. Take it easy. The next stage in your life will be here soon enough and you will be thankful for this downtime when that finally happens.
Sitting around staring at the same, four walls can make an expectant person anxious. When that happens, you begin to organize and put things away. Maybe a little light cleaning. You know, that stuff you couldn't quite get to before this "downtime". After all, you are still taking it easy, but you are beginning to feel good and it needs to be done. Good isn't Bad, so you begin to move couches, chairs, dressers and beds. You are now carrying large boxes of clutter to the trash that you didn't realize had accumulated while you were busy with your last season. Light dusting moves into frantic scouring of the floors on your knees and you wonder, "How in the world did I neglect these corners all through the last season?"
By now you are really feeling good, but you can't start working on the next phase of your life, so you tell yourself, "It's okay. I'll get it all done now. Who know when I'll get another chance to clean out all these closets?" The next season feels just around the corner and you are "nesting"--- big time!
In your future there will be sleepless, restless nights. You will have fatigue, stress, and minor body aches that come your way and so you tell yourself to press on; make it sparkle, make it shine! You might not get to it for another nine months so it's got to be good to last. When the next season begins, you might be too tired, sick, or just have no time to even feed yourself, let alone read, study, organize and clean. Do it now!
You stop yourself only when sanity once again takes over. This happens just as you realize there is absolutely NO WAY you can clean the gutters out on a three-story house with a very steep roof pitch! It just isn't safe. It just isn't reasonable. And those explanations keep you from climbing out there and finishing that one final task.
So, I sit back and wait. And wait. With high expectations, a little bit of nerves and most of all excitement. I'm ready! Bring It!
Monday, May 30, 2011
Homestead 15K Race Report
Another weekend, another race!
Local races are the best because there are always a lot of friends there. People you know and run with during the week. It is more like a group run and that nervous feeling I get in the pit of my stomach is gone.
This weekend I ran the 15k in Midway. I was a little surprised that someone put hills in the course at the end. Where did they come from? I really enjoyed the course, though. I loved running up memorial hill. It was not too steep and it felt good to put some effort into the run at that point. However, I was wasted by mile 7. I had no fuel on the entire course, and I just got back to running this week after the Ironman.
As I came to mile 7 I realized it was at the end of a 30 mile week and I had ran a 5k on Friday with my kids. My time dropped drastically and I began to struggle.
Overall, I was happy with the run. I did it for "tempo training" and enjoyed the day.
For someone looking for a good race, and reasonably priced, this one comes at a perfect time in the early-season. And they give awesome prizes, too!
My husband took hundreds of pictures of everyone at different parts of the course. If you would like a high-res. copy, send me an email at goinmom@yahoo.com!
Here is the link for the pics: http://www.flickr.com/photos/25530859@N02/sets/72157626713519991/
Local races are the best because there are always a lot of friends there. People you know and run with during the week. It is more like a group run and that nervous feeling I get in the pit of my stomach is gone.
This weekend I ran the 15k in Midway. I was a little surprised that someone put hills in the course at the end. Where did they come from? I really enjoyed the course, though. I loved running up memorial hill. It was not too steep and it felt good to put some effort into the run at that point. However, I was wasted by mile 7. I had no fuel on the entire course, and I just got back to running this week after the Ironman.
As I came to mile 7 I realized it was at the end of a 30 mile week and I had ran a 5k on Friday with my kids. My time dropped drastically and I began to struggle.
Overall, I was happy with the run. I did it for "tempo training" and enjoyed the day.
For someone looking for a good race, and reasonably priced, this one comes at a perfect time in the early-season. And they give awesome prizes, too!
My husband took hundreds of pictures of everyone at different parts of the course. If you would like a high-res. copy, send me an email at goinmom@yahoo.com!
Here is the link for the pics: http://www.flickr.com/photos/25530859@N02/sets/72157626713519991/
Friday, May 13, 2011
I am an Ironman. I know this because Mike Riley said I was. I had a lot of time Saturday to reflect on why this announcement was so important to me. I had more time to think about it than I had hoped, but for some reason, finishing became an extraordinary goal that matter so much to me on that one day.
Ironman is Extraodinary. Maybe it's because of the incredible race organizers that think of the smallest details. It could be because of the spectators, the awesome volunteers, or the family and friends that cheer. It is extraordinary that people that survive cold, heat, wind, rain, cramps,
dehydration, and miles and miles. Sometimes they survive illness, injuries and accidents on that one day just to be declared an Ironman.
But the reason we endure the difficulties on that day is a culmination of ordinary events we endured for months. Becoming an Ironman is mostly about the commitment to get up at 5:00 for swim workouts in the dark and snow. It is about convincing yourself that sleeping in for a 6:00 run on Saturday morning will matter. Ironman is the everyday commitment to bike when you're sore, tired, or hungry. It is riding your bike on the Computrainer for 6 hours because the roads are too icy to go outside. It is wet shoes from running in the snow. It is icing your legs after mile repeats. It is crashing on your bike, stitches and shin splints. It is friends that meet you on windy days so you won't have to run alone. It affects not only where and when you take a vacation, but what you do when you get there. (I always travel with my wet suit in case I can get in an open-water workout).
Ironman is a commitment that affects when you sleep and what you eat. It plays into what extra-curricular activities you do and when. It affects your Friday nights with your "significant other". When training for Ironman, you wonder what it would feel like to sleep in like the rest of the world, when you start out on a long run on the lonely, dark roads. Ironman is about the people in your life that creep around the house because once again you feel asleep spontaneously while watching a movie.
Ironman is an extraordinary accomplishment. But it is small, little, seemingly insignificant choices throughout every day, month after month, that makes it incredible.
The videos don't show it. The movies don't explain it. But we Ironman know, as we laugh, cry, jump, or collapse across the finish line, that we are an Ironman because of small, ordinary choices we made, long before that extraordinary day began.
Thank you, to my family and friends. You made it possible.
Ironman is Extraodinary. Maybe it's because of the incredible race organizers that think of the smallest details. It could be because of the spectators, the awesome volunteers, or the family and friends that cheer. It is extraordinary that people that survive cold, heat, wind, rain, cramps,
dehydration, and miles and miles. Sometimes they survive illness, injuries and accidents on that one day just to be declared an Ironman.
But the reason we endure the difficulties on that day is a culmination of ordinary events we endured for months. Becoming an Ironman is mostly about the commitment to get up at 5:00 for swim workouts in the dark and snow. It is about convincing yourself that sleeping in for a 6:00 run on Saturday morning will matter. Ironman is the everyday commitment to bike when you're sore, tired, or hungry. It is riding your bike on the Computrainer for 6 hours because the roads are too icy to go outside. It is wet shoes from running in the snow. It is icing your legs after mile repeats. It is crashing on your bike, stitches and shin splints. It is friends that meet you on windy days so you won't have to run alone. It affects not only where and when you take a vacation, but what you do when you get there. (I always travel with my wet suit in case I can get in an open-water workout).Ironman is a commitment that affects when you sleep and what you eat. It plays into what extra-curricular activities you do and when. It affects your Friday nights with your "significant other". When training for Ironman, you wonder what it would feel like to sleep in like the rest of the world, when you start out on a long run on the lonely, dark roads. Ironman is about the people in your life that creep around the house because once again you feel asleep spontaneously while watching a movie.
Ironman is an extraordinary accomplishment. But it is small, little, seemingly insignificant choices throughout every day, month after month, that makes it incredible.
The videos don't show it. The movies don't explain it. But we Ironman know, as we laugh, cry, jump, or collapse across the finish line, that we are an Ironman because of small, ordinary choices we made, long before that extraordinary day began.
Thank you, to my family and friends. You made it possible.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
As Ironman day approaches, more and more people ask me why I do Ironman. I've put a lot of thought into that question, due to my lack of training this season and my recent bike crash.
Why AM I doing this? What purpose could the desire to test the ends of my limits possibly accomplish? Well, I've come up with three reason I insist on participating in the insanity. But I should warn you that my personal reasons are not as noble as you might hope.
First, Ironman training gives me a great excuse to sleep in the middle of the day.
Second, Ironman gives me an excuse to buy equipment. Shoes, tri clothes, new bikes and all the gear that goes with it. It's like Christmas in May.
Last, and most importantly: Ironman gives me an excuse to eat. I love to eat. I love food. I realized how much this week as my thoughts went to what I will eat when the race is over. I dream about this every marathon, and every Ironman I train for. Where will I go out to eat? What will I order? I think about it like the great reward it is. When things get tough on the race course, I remind myself what I've decided I'll eat when I'm done, and it helps me through those moments.
A few weeks ago, I realized that I judge a race by the post-race meal. Without realizing it, I have been doing that for years. Boise 70.3 is one of my favorite races. When people ask why, I don't talk about the volunteers, the course, or anything except the food. One year we got steak tacos. Another year, athletes received sliders. You just can't beat warm food after a rainy, windy, evening finish of a long race. I have doubts about doing Oceanside 70.3 again because they served cold pizza! The course and weather were perfect, but I guess I'm just in it for the food!
Training articles say you shouldn't hope to lose weight by restricting calories during Ironman training. I take this advise to heart. This gives me every excuse to compete with Michael Phelps on a daily basis. When my husband takes me out to dinner, I order two entrees. The look on a waitress' face... Last year my husband's boss took the employees and their wives out to a Brazilian BBQ. As I came back from the All-you-can-eat salad bar for my last time, I realized they were actually laughing at me because of the amount of food I was able to eat. Just one of my most embarrassing moments.
A good friend told me that Ironman Cozumel and Brazil have great race food. Apparently it begins early with awesome dried bananas on the bike course. As we ran our 6 miles that day, she told me of the available smorgasbord at these events. I think I'll add these to a long list of races I'd like to do one day. After all, for me, it's about the food!
And now, I need to turn my thoughts to final preparations for Ironman St. George. Where and what will I be eating late on Saturday night?
 |
| Picture of my knee before rock removal, stitches and swelling! |
First, Ironman training gives me a great excuse to sleep in the middle of the day.
Second, Ironman gives me an excuse to buy equipment. Shoes, tri clothes, new bikes and all the gear that goes with it. It's like Christmas in May.
Last, and most importantly: Ironman gives me an excuse to eat. I love to eat. I love food. I realized how much this week as my thoughts went to what I will eat when the race is over. I dream about this every marathon, and every Ironman I train for. Where will I go out to eat? What will I order? I think about it like the great reward it is. When things get tough on the race course, I remind myself what I've decided I'll eat when I'm done, and it helps me through those moments.
A few weeks ago, I realized that I judge a race by the post-race meal. Without realizing it, I have been doing that for years. Boise 70.3 is one of my favorite races. When people ask why, I don't talk about the volunteers, the course, or anything except the food. One year we got steak tacos. Another year, athletes received sliders. You just can't beat warm food after a rainy, windy, evening finish of a long race. I have doubts about doing Oceanside 70.3 again because they served cold pizza! The course and weather were perfect, but I guess I'm just in it for the food!
Training articles say you shouldn't hope to lose weight by restricting calories during Ironman training. I take this advise to heart. This gives me every excuse to compete with Michael Phelps on a daily basis. When my husband takes me out to dinner, I order two entrees. The look on a waitress' face... Last year my husband's boss took the employees and their wives out to a Brazilian BBQ. As I came back from the All-you-can-eat salad bar for my last time, I realized they were actually laughing at me because of the amount of food I was able to eat. Just one of my most embarrassing moments.
A good friend told me that Ironman Cozumel and Brazil have great race food. Apparently it begins early with awesome dried bananas on the bike course. As we ran our 6 miles that day, she told me of the available smorgasbord at these events. I think I'll add these to a long list of races I'd like to do one day. After all, for me, it's about the food!
And now, I need to turn my thoughts to final preparations for Ironman St. George. Where and what will I be eating late on Saturday night?
Sunday, April 24, 2011
.
So, I've decided to start blogging again! Why? Because yesterday's race was so FUN!
It has been years since I've done a Women's Only event and WOW! was it different. I'm used to people crowding the start line. At yesterday's Pink Series 5K in Alpine, Utah, I learned that sometimes people might race just for fun. Go figure!
As we "lined up" to start, I looked around. The crowd hadn't moved forward. No one was elbowing anyone to get to the front of the pack. Women were holding back as if to say, "Hey, I don't care if I get an awesome prize at the end, YOU go ahead and go for it..." Crazy ladies! They had awesome Miche bags and gift cards!
The last race I was in was in California for an ocean triathlon. When the race started, a bunch of women just about pushed me to the bottom of the harbor! So when the horn blew at the Rodeo Grounds in Alpine to start the Pink Series 5K, my natural survival tendencies rose to the surface, and I took off. When I looked ahead, I couldn't believe I was actually at the beginning of the pack. (That rarely happens.)
It seems everyone was just running with friends and family, enjoying the course and the camaraderie. I was there with my future daughter-in-law and it was my idea we do this race together. It was her first ever 5k and my umpteenth, but I've never "raced" just to finish. With the great down-hill course, I toed the start line hoping for a PR. But at mile 2, I began to wonder if I should have toned it down just a bit. Oh, well, it was too late for camaraderie now!
As I rounded the park for the finish, to be welcomed by firemen in pink ties, I was ecstatic to see that I had PR'd. (I no longer count my high school times...)
My daughter-in-law finished shortly afterward and my son reassures me that she did have fun. This race might be one I can even talk my teenage daughter into doing with me; running a 5k is something she has sworn she will NEVER do.
This 5K taught me that there are races you can run just for fun. Maybe I'll adopt that philosophy sometime this year for another race.
I hear the Pink Series is doing a 10K in Logan and hosting their second Half marathon in Park City in October. This race is now one of my top-picks for local races. Not just because it has cute swag bags, was well-organized, started on time, or even because of the prizes at the end. But because it supports Cancer research and also because of the attitude of those around me. I was reminded of why I run and how grateful I am to be able to do what I love so much.
If you want to see who was there and how much fun it we had, go here . If you see yourself in a picture and want a full-sized copy, send me an email at goinmom@yahoo.com
Over-all Race Grade: 33/35
Swag Bag: 5
Organized: 5
Started on time: 5
Post-race Goodies: 4
Fun Little Extras: 5
Course: 4
Prizes: 5
Monday, March 29, 2010
Race Post Mortem
My Henderson Nevada Race day was awesome, starting from the cold swim, to the night-time finish.
We entered the 61 degree water a few minutes early to get adjusted to the temperature. It took my breath away, but was well-worth it. I learned later a few people had to be pulled out, probably from the shock and not being able to settle their breathing down.
The swim was over quickly. I was just starting to feel like I wanted to try pushing the tempo because I was loafing it and then there was the dock! But I got my best swim time ever. We climbed out of the water using boat ladders and that was a little weird, trying and hoist myself up. Transition was long and on gravel so I really lost time there. I was like a rookie! It was like I hadn't even transitioned before!
The ride out was hard with lots of elevation gain and a head wind. I got into a groove and just didn't push, trying to find a nice, even pace. I enjoyed the ride until I ran out of water. I have also decided to freeze a bottle of water for the Ironman so that it isn't all warm water out there. Yuck! Coming back was fun! At times I was pushing, trying to get over 40 MPH. (I never did. I maxed at 39 on a few hills.) The glory of hills. I love climbing (although I'm slow, I just like it, and coming down is awesome).
I had developed cramps from lack of water the last few climbs coming back to Lake Las Vegas. So, as you can imagine, the run was rough. I was in a lot of pain. I dealt with it by going slow, walking and drinking water only through every aid station. At 6 miles the pain was miraculously gone and I could run again. I began to feel so good I considered finishing the race and then doing another 5 or 6 miles to see how it would feel. But with the crowds, my family and food, I decided to call it a night.
Our hotel room looked out onto the run course, which was a two-time out and back. My twins sat on the balcony, cheering as I passed. How awesome is that! I enjoyed the scenery, the people, the challenge and the opportunity to train one last time before the St. George Ironman.
Thanks to my training friends that make me run in the foothills. You guys are the best!
We entered the 61 degree water a few minutes early to get adjusted to the temperature. It took my breath away, but was well-worth it. I learned later a few people had to be pulled out, probably from the shock and not being able to settle their breathing down.
The swim was over quickly. I was just starting to feel like I wanted to try pushing the tempo because I was loafing it and then there was the dock! But I got my best swim time ever. We climbed out of the water using boat ladders and that was a little weird, trying and hoist myself up. Transition was long and on gravel so I really lost time there. I was like a rookie! It was like I hadn't even transitioned before!
The ride out was hard with lots of elevation gain and a head wind. I got into a groove and just didn't push, trying to find a nice, even pace. I enjoyed the ride until I ran out of water. I have also decided to freeze a bottle of water for the Ironman so that it isn't all warm water out there. Yuck! Coming back was fun! At times I was pushing, trying to get over 40 MPH. (I never did. I maxed at 39 on a few hills.) The glory of hills. I love climbing (although I'm slow, I just like it, and coming down is awesome).
I had developed cramps from lack of water the last few climbs coming back to Lake Las Vegas. So, as you can imagine, the run was rough. I was in a lot of pain. I dealt with it by going slow, walking and drinking water only through every aid station. At 6 miles the pain was miraculously gone and I could run again. I began to feel so good I considered finishing the race and then doing another 5 or 6 miles to see how it would feel. But with the crowds, my family and food, I decided to call it a night.
Our hotel room looked out onto the run course, which was a two-time out and back. My twins sat on the balcony, cheering as I passed. How awesome is that! I enjoyed the scenery, the people, the challenge and the opportunity to train one last time before the St. George Ironman.
Thanks to my training friends that make me run in the foothills. You guys are the best!
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